SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY
holy shit shut UP
(Source: funnyinternetjoke, via cocaine-biceps)
if this gets 500 notes i will kill my dad with a shovel
i’m not going to kill my dad. this website is the worst.
don’t back out now u pussy
(Source: chickensandwich, via cocaine-biceps)
and so it begins
you can be intelligent and successful
you can be sexually active and promiscuous
also…. you can be both
So in middle school we weren’t allowed to have any drinks aside from water but I kept sprite or the clear kool aid in a water bottle and felt like I was someone who made moonshine during the prohibition era.
Saying casual sex destroys your ability to form meaningful romantic relationships is like saying that talking to a stranger a the bus stop takes away the meaning of your friendships.
(Source: undercovercock, via zeenuh)
my life would probably get 2 notes
(Source: bigbossu, via mysecretbutthole)
make it rain
do you think if i die now i’ll have enough time to be reincarnated as kim kardashians baby
There are two identical-looking people sleeping on the subway
Are you trying to say black people look the same!?
(Source: ryulongd, via lindsaychrist)